Saturday, 24 April 2010

The irrationality is increasing with every passing day!

A friend of mine said to me, “Its 1.00 pm, lets go for lunch.” I wasn’t really hungry. But I just got up and moved towards canteen. The reason was simple, I wasn’t hungry but if I would have gone to canteen anytime after 1 o’ clock, I would have to stand in long queue waiting for atleast 15 mins. So there was no connection between hunger and eating food. The food that I eat is not exactly what I want to, but there is no option for replacing it. If I try to reason out many of my actions, I would not have any logical explanations for that.

The irrationality is growing with every passage of time. I get up every morning not because I had enough sleep, but because if I don’t, I would get late. I go to sleep not because I feel sleepy, but because I have to wake up early the next morning. While going for sleep, by default the brain calculates how many hours of sleep I am going to get tonight, missing the "soundness" part of it.

When I go to somebody’s place, I drink water if it is offered without a thought that I really needed it or not. If I refuse for some snacks or food that is offered, host tends to become angry. Almost all Indian hosts are beyond any reasoning in this matter. If I say that I am full and would vomit even if I eat a piece, it would make no difference in the behavior of the hosts. The host neither listens to nor believes what the guest says. His own agenda is to prove what a wonderful host he is.

I want to stay with my friends, the way I use to. But somehow they stay so far now, that a phone call or gtalk is the only immediate options left. We use to go to Marine drive in the evening just like that, now we need to plan it atleast a week before. Feels like talking for long hours with mom, but when she calls up, it doesn’t last for more than 3 mins. “Howz life?” is the question I see in my scrap book, not knowing how to respond to such a vague question. What is the expected answer to such a question? They say the world is becoming small but we seem to be going away from our loved ones!

There is no relation between what I studied and what I do. There is no connection between what I say and what I do! There isn’t slightest similarity between what I want to do and what I am doing! Do I really want to be what I am? Am I better off today or would I be better off if I try to be what I always wanted to be?

fOoD fOr ThOuGhT: Is this what you call the urbanization effect? Do you guys also behave in the same way as I am, or am I the odd one?


  1. nice post karan.. :)
    sometimes we do what we dont want to..

    Can you add me on fb..its "Shriti Mohanto" I tried to find you T.T

  2. @Chocolate Lover: Thnx a lot! Yeah sometimes...

    I tried searching you, I got too many in result...which one?

  3. Karan,

    Sorry I am giving advice.. and as you know I always give without asking whether next person wants it or not. Just like an Indian Host ;).

    Just ask question to yourself, do I know really what I want? and do not stop after you get answer. Ask another question to the answer you get, Why I wanted this? I think these links of question will answer the behavior of anybody.

    If anybody knows or I will say understands the answers to these question he/she will do what they want otherwise it is very difficult.

    Hope I am not confusing.

  4. Sorry I forgot, a very nicely thought and written post.. keep it up..

  5. @Sarang: Your thoughts are always insightful!

    I asked both the questions...I got answers for is what?

  6. Nice one karan, are both the answers correct.. anyways think on that.
    Let's discuss something which you wrote.

    Take first incidence, you said you went and took food not because you are hungry but you do not want to stand in long queue or wait till whatever you want to eat is ready. Am I right? If so then how can you say that you are doing what you do not want to? Here what you wanted is "to take food when you are hungry but that too without waiting" so actually you wanted two things to remove your hunger whenever it arises and non-waiting. Only thing what you did is you prioritized two wants and given maximum weight to non-waiting in queue and hence you went and had your lunch.

    Similarly, people eat the things on others saying even if they do not want because, we Indians are always taught to give preference to others first or deny once happiness to make others happy. And this is great teaching and this is sign of becoming progressive.

    We always give preference to "PARAMARTH" over "SWARTH". Only thing we need to understand that this is parmarth. If we take food to make somebody happy but we can not enjoy others happiness then this paramartha is of no use. ;)

    I hate writing something, but it seems you will become the reason to convert this hate into love. Thanks

  7. @Sarang: I would love if you convert your hate into love and start writing. I would also like to see you getting into blogging... ;)

    Yes both the answers are correct. But i dont know what to do next.

    Sometimes we have multiple things to satisfy and we need to prioritize but the situation forces us to select the less important, the illogical one! I hope you got my point...

    You are correct regarding Paramarth and Swarth...

  8. @Sarang: I am convinced a bit by you...

  9. Hi Karan,
    I have been reading some of your blogs, and you write very well. There is a certain raw manner in which you write about many big themes in one blog, which reminds me a lot of my younger days, and am very happy to read and comment on your blogs. (I am guessing by some of your blogs, that you are much younger than me!).
    What you experience is very normal for most youth in the country. Life is in a certain way when you are in your teens or university, then changes set in when you start working, some more changes when your friends start getting married, and many more once you are married. All of us, who have passed through these stages, have wondered about it at some level or another.
    Those who are happiest in life, are very observant to the changes (that you are), think about it (which you do), but most importantly, embrace the good things in all these changes and do not worry about the bad things (which is what I am suggesting you do!). In some cases, you have to be pro active and take a call and sacrifice something.
    For example, you are aware that what you studied and what you are working on are different, and it is probably because your job is lucrative and well playing, and the job for your education probably does not exist or it’s not lucrative enough. You always have a choice to be happy with the work and its money, or move to a different field.
    And whatever you are working on now, is a different set of skill sets that always helps
    I did electrical engineering, did programming, did business planning, and then did consulting, and there is no direct relation to all the various things I have done in my career, or would do! I stuck to something for as lomng as I enjoyed and learnt from it, or made money out of it, and moved on pro actively.
    As another example, the fact that you spend 30 minutes every month (hypothetical) with your chaddi dost, as compared to a few hours everyday 10 years back, should help you prioritize and make those 30 minutes count big time!
    So bottom line: embrace and learn from all these changes. If there is a change you are very uncomfortable with, take a call and do something different and find your happiness there!
    There is a certain beauty in what you describe as irrationality...hunt for it and find it :)

  10. @Vasu:

    You answered lot of my queries. You assumptions regarding me are bang on! Read your comment twice-thrice...loved it! Thnx a lot for such valuable insights!



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