Challenging yourself...

Akhilesh, Puneet and Swapnil are three friends who cannot tolerate presence of each other at all. Yet they are friends, mostly conflicting. They have great understanding between them, yet they seldom co-existed for long. It was more of adaption rather than liking. It was more of familiarity rather than fondness. The uniqueness in their relation was they always knew their thought processing is different. Right from the childhood, they studied in same school and studied same subjects. However, they differed after schools. Puneet studied commerce in graduation and then secured masters degree in business administration. Akhilesh and Swapnil did engineering and then secured their MBA degrees.

Puneet is an introvert, cute and “good” guy. Take home and make your parents meet material, in short a marriage material. Akhilesh, handsome and rich. A lady- charmer, girls chase him for his intelligence and well settled future. But he is after realizing his dreams, dreams to become richer and richer and for him means are as important as the ends. Swapnil had this knack of doing right things at right time. An entrepreneur by nature always wanting to sell his dreams to the world.

Incidentally, Puneet met Akhilesh and Swapnil at a coffee shop - Café Coffee Day, their all time favorite. They greeted each other out of courtesy. Puneet ordered for Café Mocha, Akhilesh – Café Latte and Swapnil – Devil’s Own.

Akhilesh broke the silence. “Hey Puneet dude, how is your work going? Same company, last three years! The recession is over man. Markets have improved and competitors are offering much more than what you are getting currently! Switch from your company and see your package sky rocketing! I feel bad about your current situation. Common man.” Mockingly Akhilesh delivered his speech staring at Puneet.

Before Puneet could say anything, Swapnil interrupted Akhilesh, “I completely disagree with Akhilesh. Remember the stories that you told me about you wanting to start your restaurant? What about it man? You planned so much? Entrepreneurship is in your blood! I don’t like you working for somebody else. It is time for you to take a plunge from the mundane “job” and venture out of your own. You have your restaurant plans ready since last five years and you told me that you would be starting it after your management degree. In fact I was so much impressed just by looking at the detailing done by you. I can guarantee you, if you execute your plans, it would be a great hit!”

Puneet was listening quietly waiting for his turn to defend himself. “Akhilesh, I don’t want to run after companies. The current company has been good to me and taken good care of me in difficult recession times. I don’t want to betray it now. And in the first place, you know, this is not what I want to do! I am always looking to set up my own restaurant. Yeah Puneet you are right. But I think I want more time and need more money in place before I begin in big way. May be few onsites and then I am off to chase my dreams!”

“Switch and make more money in less time. Take onsite from new company. You are in business; don’t be sentimental for the current company! Don’t be emotional fool!” Akhilesh explained, banging his coffee mug on the table. “And you are losing time, in your waiting game. Start your restaurant and start building it slowly and steadily. It takes around a decade for any new business to get set and evolve in to big one!” claimed Swapnil promptly.

By this time, Puneet was completely confused! Perplexed and unsure, he became angry. All the three started defending themselves and making it difficult for Puneet to explain his situation. Puneet’s state of mind became rather baffled. The loud music of Café Coffee Day actually started dancing in-front of him. Full of rage and anger he pushed Akhilesh and Swapnil hard, indicating them to leave the place. The two got up and left immediately, abruptly, unconvinced, determined to visit him again afterwards. Puneet started pulling his hairs in despair and anguish.

After 24 mins, a waiter came close to Puneet’s table, picked up the only coffee mug lying and cleared the table. He placed the bill for Café Mocha, the only coffee ordered for the table since Puneet came to the coffee shop.

fOoD fOr ThOuGhT: Isn’t it difficult to deal with your own conflicting thoughts bouncing on you at the same time?

“…and I let my love to fly away!”

Hari hails from a small town. A typical middle class guy who has seen how his father has struggle all his life to meet two ends. Business went through ups and downs but his father never allowed his children to feel the pinch. His mother was a house wife and devoted all her life to bring up her two sons; Hari and Shyam - her hope, her world. Hari always knew he is going to make it big, always longed to give his parents luxury in their life.

Hari was a simple guy. Introvert, he believed in talking to himself, analyzing and speaking to others only when required. Down to earth in demeanor, with a determination to do big in life. A typical sweet, caring and understanding person. No fancy outfit, no passion to chase branded stuff. He always took right decisions; always put other’s interest before his own. He was always found in the “good books” of people whom he met.

He got through a premier B-School in Mumbai. Two years of grueling studies took everything out of him. But he kept reminding himself, "all this just for my parents". That thought kept him going. In the journey to create his destiny, he found a beautiful lady. A beauty he always wished for in his dreams. She was Anushka, flawless beauty. Happy go lucky, outgoing girl. It was his birthday and incidentally Anushka came to him asking for an assignment. Hari was always ready with his assignment. He helped her in scoring some addition marks and in the mean course, winning her heart. They started doing their assignments together. And then they sat together in lectures, went to canteen together, shopping and hanging out. They started enjoying each other’s company. They never realized when two years of college was over. They were deeply in love and their relation was pure.

It was last day of the college, Anushka and Hari went to City’s pub. Hari being a teetotaler, Anushka ordered large Smirnoff vodka with orange juice and a soft drink for Hari. It wasn’t for the first time Anushka was boozing with Hari. Every sip of vodka taken by Anushka, made Hari feel awkward.

Hari always felt awkwardness when Anushka boozed or smoked. He always showed his displeasure when Anushka wore trendy outfits. Anushka always listened to Hari. She changed her set of friends. She changed her habits. A teetotaler, pure vegetarian and simple clothing. But sometimes she wanted to unwind herself, like the last day of the college. At the same time, she wasn’t enjoying her new avatar. She was not able to carry herself the way she used to. She had become Hari’s Anushka and not the Anushka she was. But every time just a glimpse of Hari, cheered her up and changed her thoughts.

When you are in love, your partner recognizes your problem even if it is not expressed. Hari always knew that Anushka is not happy with the changes. He always thought she was burdened with his likes and dislikes. Thoughts started flickering. “Just for me, she changed herself but is she enjoying her life? Shouldn’t I give her more space and allow her to live more independently? Can’t I do this much for her happiness? But what will my parents say?”

His conscious always scolded him for his selfishness. The guilt feeling was talking a toll on his health. He knew it isn’t going anywhere in long term. Long term views paralyzed him. “What if Anushka changes after marriage? My parents would die! And how can I allow my love Anushka to die every day just for me!" Perplexed, confused, gripped into deep thoughts, lost in the musing… parents asking for justification for their hard work and expectations, mother’s depressed face, Anushka sacrificing for him but always wanting to break free, Mr. Rao, Strategy professor, shouting on his face “face the odds head on, don’t be a quitter!” Friends forcing him to convince parents but he knew they won’t!

After lot of contemplations, he decided to listen to his head in the game of love, love for his parents and love of his life, Anushka! and, and …he let his love fly away!

fOoD fOr ThOuGhT: For the first time, after writing a post, I am in deep thoughts! Was Hari right? Was that the only solution? Was he right in punishing himself and his love? What was Anushka’s mistake?

The irrationality is increasing with every passing day!

A friend of mine said to me, “Its 1.00 pm, lets go for lunch.” I wasn’t really hungry. But I just got up and moved towards canteen. The reason was simple, I wasn’t hungry but if I would have gone to canteen anytime after 1 o’ clock, I would have to stand in long queue waiting for atleast 15 mins. So there was no connection between hunger and eating food. The food that I eat is not exactly what I want to, but there is no option for replacing it. If I try to reason out many of my actions, I would not have any logical explanations for that.

The irrationality is growing with every passage of time. I get up every morning not because I had enough sleep, but because if I don’t, I would get late. I go to sleep not because I feel sleepy, but because I have to wake up early the next morning. While going for sleep, by default the brain calculates how many hours of sleep I am going to get tonight, missing the "soundness" part of it.

When I go to somebody’s place, I drink water if it is offered without a thought that I really needed it or not. If I refuse for some snacks or food that is offered, host tends to become angry. Almost all Indian hosts are beyond any reasoning in this matter. If I say that I am full and would vomit even if I eat a piece, it would make no difference in the behavior of the hosts. The host neither listens to nor believes what the guest says. His own agenda is to prove what a wonderful host he is.

I want to stay with my friends, the way I use to. But somehow they stay so far now, that a phone call or gtalk is the only immediate options left. We use to go to Marine drive in the evening just like that, now we need to plan it atleast a week before. Feels like talking for long hours with mom, but when she calls up, it doesn’t last for more than 3 mins. “Howz life?” is the question I see in my scrap book, not knowing how to respond to such a vague question. What is the expected answer to such a question? They say the world is becoming small but we seem to be going away from our loved ones!

There is no relation between what I studied and what I do. There is no connection between what I say and what I do! There isn’t slightest similarity between what I want to do and what I am doing! Do I really want to be what I am? Am I better off today or would I be better off if I try to be what I always wanted to be?

fOoD fOr ThOuGhT: Is this what you call the urbanization effect? Do you guys also behave in the same way as I am, or am I the odd one?